Free yourself with Forgiveness
LUKE 17:4- Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.
Before you dive in and read the content of this post, I want to ask you three questions:
Is there anyone who has done you wrong that you have yet to forgive?
If the answer is yes: By holding this grudge who is really being internally affected? You or them?
Lastly, Whenever you see that person do you immediately think of their wrongdoing? Do you feel or act upon those same emotions of betrayal over again as if it happened yesterday?
Now that you answered my questions, I want you to understand that true forgiveness is remembering the event without remembering the pain. If you're unable to move past the pain you felt caused by other people.. you are suffering from resentment.
Resentment is equivalent to an emotional poison. It slowly kills you. It eats you alive. You honestly gain nothing from harboring hate in your heart towards another person. Why do you think the Lord calls for us to get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander? (EPHESIANS 4:31)
A lot of the time, people claim to forgive the person but their actions prove otherwise. How can you say that you forgave someone when your entire energy changes in their presence? How can you say you're over it, but you talk down on their name every opportunity you get? You haven't moved on if you act bitter and resentful towards them every time you interact with them. Those aren't strives of forgiveness. Those are signs of indignation.
You know that holding grudges really does block your blessings, right? It's not just a saying. It's true. For MATTHEW 6:14-15 says, "If you forgive those who sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." How do you expect other people to forgive you for what you've done to them, yet alone, The Heavenly Father when you can't even forgive other people for what they've done to you?
Some use the famous punchline: Forgive but don't forget as an excuse to throw offenses back in people's faces once they mess up again. KEEPING RECORD OF WHAT PEOPLE DO TO YOU IS NOT FORGIVENESS!!! Bringing up past situations that hurt you in hopes of offending someone blatantly shows that you have not taken the time to deal with the pain, heal from it, and move on.
Think of it this way:
When you physically get hurt.. you tend to the wound so it can heal. You clean it to get rid of harmful bacteria and place a bandage over it. With time, the wound scabs over and becomes healed. Of course a scar remains, but it doesn't hurt to touch anymore.
Why not treat emotional wounds with the same care? Just because we can't see emotional wounds doesn't mean they aren't important too! When someone betrays you.. take some time to deal with the hurt without hiding it. Admit that you've been hurt. Use love as your Wounded heart's cleanser to rid the side effects of harmful resentment. Love the person regardless of how bad they offended you because ya know.. love covers a multitude of sins (1PETER 4:8). Allow time to be your open wound's bandage. Time does heal all wounds ...but ONLY if you move forward WITH time and NOT against it. Yes, like a physical wound.. you'll have a scar. But this emotional scar is different. This scar represents growth. A lesson learned. We can't grow if we don't experience pain. Like, when you gain muscle at the gym .. you go through the pain for your muscles to tear so they can grow! [NO PAIN, NO GAIN] .. That's the same way some life lessons help develop & toughen our character.. through pain. Normally after misunderstandings an apology and a form of acceptance is exchanged. Sadly, that's not always the case. Some people hurt others with no remorse and do not care to apologize. If this explains your situation, I don't recommend you to wait for one. The longer you wait, the longer you'll suffer with resentment. You could be wasting years of your life waiting on a person who's never going to apologize. You can't expect an apology from someone who sees no wrong in their actions. An apology is only genuine when it's sincere. If it won't be sincere, what's the point of yearning for one? You're better off without it... It takes strength to forgive someone who isn't even sorry. THAT IS TRUE FORGIVENESS!!!! I also don't recommend you to seek your own revenge either. Allow God to deal with the ones who wronged you. "Never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God.... I will take revenge. I will pay them back, says the Lord (ROMANS 12:19)." The thing you SHOULD do is pray over the person that hurt you. (MATTHEW 5:44 ~ Love your enemies. Pray for those that persecute you!) Remember, hurt people hurt people. The person who hurt you may be dealing with underlying hurt that you aren't even aware of. Pray for their well being. Pray that God will help them deal with their hidden pain. Pray blessings over their current and their future. At first you may not mean it, but with time and consistency.. trust me, you will feel a difference. You will feel uplifted. You'll feel free. You won't feel as though someone has control over your emotions anymore. You won't feel like you have to remain bitter over something that happened months, or even years ago. Praying goodness over someone will lift you up to new heights. Eventually you won't even want an apology or revenge. You'll just want nothing but the absolute best for them. (EPHESIANS 4:23 ~ Instead, let the spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes) Before I finish this post, I want to address that: FORGIVING SOMEONE DOES NOT ALWAYS MEAN YOU HAVE TO KEEP THEM IN YOUR LIFE. Forgive people for your own sake. Keep in mind that not everyone deserves to be cut off. Some may actually have your best interest at heart. They just simply made a mistake. Those are the people that you forgive and keep around. On the other hand, some should only be loved from a distance. Acknowledge the difference between those who appreciate your forgiveness and those who abuse it. If you struggle with distinguishing the difference between the two, don't hesitate to ask God for wisdom because he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking (JAMES 1:5❤️)
